Yesterday, when I posted Are you a Facebook attention whore? I closed with the thought that I would probably make several folks mad, and I did rub people the wrong way. People that I really didn't know read my blog, and people that I never would have put in that category.
Let me add to the story and then I will apologize to my readers....
This week we were hit with a snowstorm, a rather large snow storm for this area. I get that people get bored, but at one time in my newsfeed I saw post from a few fellow moms wanting to know how the roads were so they could decide to go to the gym, get their nails done, and to go get a coffee.....the roads were BAD.
It took I had to bite my tongue and not comment back...."Well duh, we just got a foot of snow" however, I just scrolled down and found pictures of my friend's kids playing in the snow.....I tried to LIKE as many of the photos as I could, because good for her for playing with her kids. I truly admire parents, grandparents, and family members that put their kids first over anything else.
I do apologize to my readers that were offended by what I said, some apparently took it to heart.
Yesterday, I was just venting. I too sometimes get pushed to the breaking point. I do not consider myself censored by no means, but there are so many topics that I truly cannot talk about....mostly because I cannot find words to nicely say it.
I have some "internal" (inside our family) issues going on, and no matter how I talk about it, rather I change names, change logos, change the title of it....everyone will know who I am talking about.
So when I log onto Facebook and see these "staged" photos, mom's talking about how perfect life is, and see their randomly silly questions it unnerves me...unnerves me on a level that I have never felt before.
What I don't say in that post and what I have never said before, but a few of my friends know....I was that Mom I was talking about in my post.
Three years ago my house was as clean as I could get it, I had craft day at my house, I glorified the ground my then husband walked on, and I was the mom that had to hit the gym no matter what.........and then I had a wake up call. (the wake up call is what I am not allowed to discuss).
However, I have been a complete loss as to how I can really tell those other mothers to STOP faking things and really live your life.
Forget the nail appointments, forget craft day, forget matching sweaters for holiday pictures, forget the stages birthday photos, and JUST LIVE YOUR LIFE.
It is not worth all the worry in the end, it is not worth all the headaches, and if you are not careful your fairytale could become your nightmare.
So to those moms, grandmas, aunts, and any other readers that truly were offended, or mad at me over the post I apologize. I am sorry that my words may not have been appropriate at the time, and I pray they were not words you needed to hear.
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Your apology means nothing when you are still trying to tell other women, other mothers, how to live their lives. You tell them to forget the nail appointments. Maybe it's the one time every week or two they can get together with a friend and chat. You tell them to forget craft day. Maybe their CHILD enjoys crafts. You tell them to just live their life. Maybe that is how they are CHOOSING to live their life. Everybody's life is different. Everybody chooses to live their life their own way.
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry your fairytale turned into a nightmare. But don't assume that other people's lives are going to end up the same way. And before you assume that I must be one of those "fake moms" who got offended....I don't have any children. I'm not even married. But I have good friends who are married with children who are wonderful mothers and wives and who I am offended for when you would think somebody is "faking" their life, when you probably know nothing about them.
Yes, I am saying miss the nail appointments in the MIDDLE OF A SNOW STORM. Craft day is perfect, as you will see in my next post, I give ideas for crafts, but what you are missing is I am saying let your child be COMFORTABLE while they are living, let yourself be comfortable.
DeleteI also never called these moms bad mothers, most of them are fabulous moms, but they are possibly so exhausted, but scared to crack and say I can't be perfect all the time.
I have had many mothers tell me today they appreciate this post, because they are feeling the same way....this post was obviously not for you, that happens in life and I appreciate your comment none the less.
While there was nothing inherently wrong with your initial post on this subject, the way you went about it made you come off as somebody trying to tell others what to do. And yes, you do come off that way in several of your "suggestions" when you are telling people what they should or should not post on their own personal social media pages.
DeleteSince you seem to enjoy giving advice, I hope you can take it as well. Might I suggest working on your communication skills? Before you make a post like that again, maybe take your first piece of advice from yourself and walk away from it for a couple days, then go back and read it again before deciding if that's really the way you want to portray yourself.
Becky, I don't think you are trying to "make" anyone change. I see that you are just wanting women to think about the underlying reasons for the things they are doing. If your advice doesn't apply to ones, such who "anonymous" speaks of, then they can be happy and content knowing they are living the life they choose and not just caught in a rut or a "trend" of life and expectation of others.
ReplyDeleteIt doesn't seem to me that you are trying to tell other moms how to live their lives. Not at all. But what you are trying to do is try to get some mothers to understand that they do need to keep their priorities straight. That seems to be the actual message here to me.
ReplyDeleteI don't think that anyone should be offended by your post, especially someone who isn't even a mom.
You said many true things about moms today, there are MANY moms that put their own wants and needs in front of their childrens, and there are many moms who "stage craft day photos to look perfect" If they would stop for a second and realize that the "real life" stuff is so much better and satisfying they would probably feel awesome.
so NO, I don't think you were judging or telling people what to you, you were trying to get a message across.....and it makes perfect sense, we see it all around us ever single day!
Great Job!!!